“Every day is a new chance to grow; compare yourself only with who you were yesterday. You have your own path, and it is different than everybody else’s.”
Affiliate disclosure: I sometimes use affiliate links in my content, which does not cost you anything, but it helps me keep this website running.
Don’t let anyone underestimate you, especially yourself. The limitations you set for yourself are the biggest obstacle to the potential that lies within you. Because of the different labels we stick to ourselves (others often help with that), we create prejudices about our own capabilities. If we don’t get rid of them, such prejudices hold us back throughout life.
The Polgar sisters, Jerry Rice, Muhammad Ali, Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, Nikola Tesla, Albert Einstein – in the very beginning, even some of them were declared anti-talents in what they eventually became the best at.
Every day is a new opportunity to be a little better than we were yesterday. Real self-confidence arises when you realize that you can achieve anything you want if you work hard enough. While some people learn better, acquire new skills faster, or adapt to new situations easier, in the long run it doesn’t mean much without effort. Natural benefits often have the opposite effect. If you rely only on your talent or intelligence, instead of the effort you put in, you will end up achieving only a small part of what you could really accomplish in life. And as you become more aware of this over the years, you will become more and more dissatisfied. That is why it is best to prevent that and turn your life in another direction in time.
Take a look at the blog post You become what you feed your mind – 12 things that will change your life and start doing what really matters to you.
Two important things that leave a mark on your life
The first and most important factor are the parents. They instill basic life values in children, and by their example they influence their entire lives. Children who are accustomed to listening to the complaints of parents who always blame others for their problems will learn to look for the culprits themselves, instead of looking for the ways and solutions. It is the same with other good or bad habits that are often passed down from generation to generation.
The second factor is school. Some children do better in school, and some do a little worse. This in most cases has nothing to do with intelligence. Sometimes children who start school a little older have a certain advantage in the level of intellectual and physical development over children who start school earlier.
Because of this small advantage at the start, their self-confidence grows, making them even more motivated. They are given more demanding tasks and are stimulated more, which brings out their potential. More introverted children and others who did not start well are often labeled less capable, which undermines their self-esteem at the very beginning. This later has a negative effect on their entire lives.
Malcolm Gladwell explained this phenomenon in his book Outliers: The Story of Success (affiliate link), where, among other important things, he showed in many examples how much one year more when enrolling in sports or school can have an impact on an individual’s start.
It’s time to break down prejudices about yourself
To move forward in life, you must first break down prejudices about yourself. When you say you are not good at something, the reason may lie in a lack of confidence, or you are simply looking for an excuse to give up. First, ask yourself how much time you really spent on the things “you are not good at” . Probably just a couple of hours. There is a good chance that if you spend a couple of dozen hours, it will be just the opposite; you will see that you are doing great.
There is no man who “has two left hands”, ” is a very slow learner”, “has no ear for music,” and similar nonsense that people use as an excuse. If there is, it is a very small percentage and I am sure you are not part of that statistic. In what you do more you become more capable over time (if you strive to progress, of course). If you are interested in something, and you think you do not have the gift for it, go and endure the first hundred hours. You will see that what you thought has nothing to do with the truth. The most important thing is to start without prejudices about your own abilities.
A great book The Talent Code: Greatness Isn’t Born. It’s Grown. Here’s How (affiliate link) from Daniel Coyle will break the myths and help you how to grow and use your potential in the best possible way. If you are interested in this subject, check out 10 Must-Read Books on Skills Development for Kids and Adults, some of the best books that will help you or your kid reach full potential in sport, art, and life.
If you look around, you will see that in most cases you have no idea how much more or less capable someone is than you, and these are usually just nuances that will not make much difference between you over a lifetime. But you also know very well, at least roughly, how much effort your favorite athlete or artist has put into getting to where he is today. There is no dilemma. You know well that these people have invested thousands, often tens of thousands of hours more than others to reach their goal. It means that you actually understand what the key to success is.
An example: Imagine that you learn or acquire new skills faster than someone else, let’s say twenty percent faster (which is unlikely, but just for example), and you’ve invested a hundred hours in something that interests you. E.g., you have read a dozen books on the desired topic, you have learned a couple of chords on the guitar, you have learned the basics of a foreign language, etc.
Now imagine a person who is twenty percent slower to adopt new skills but has invested five hundred hours in the same thing. In five hundred hours, this person will learn what you would learn in four hundred hours, but you have not invested four hundred but only a hundred hours. In the end, the difference will be significant, just because of the amount of effort invested (we are talking about effectively invested effort, with a complete focus on what you are doing).
And now imagine that same person who over the years has invested five thousand hours in that same thing, fifty times more than you. You see what I mean. Although success depends on many factors, effort is the most important factor that anyone can influence.
Conclusion:
Anyone’s natural advantage over you falls into oblivion if you invest five, ten, or a hundred times more time in the same thing. Forget stories of talent, intelligence, or any success effortlessly. It is easiest to declare yourself an anti-talent and give up. What separates the successful from the unsuccessful people are the thousands of hours invested, not the natural abilities. If you really want to accomplish something, make a plan that you will stick to, without the option of giving up.
Don’t forget to get your free audiobook, as well as the accompanying checklists that will help you get going. Set your goals, fill in the checklists, and take the first step. If you need support or just want to share your ideas with others, join the Long-Term Habits group. Everything is easier in a group of like-minded people.
Links:
- Free downloads: PDF and the audiobook Fulfilling Life: A matter of Personal Choice with all the accompanying checklists you need to get started
- Great Books for a Great Life – all the answers to your questions in one place
“In order to write about life, first you must live it.”– Ernest Hemingway