“Never give up because you never know what the tide will bring in the next day.” – Tom Hanks
I bet you all remember a crazy party once, when you trashed your father’s car, woke up in the wrong town, or got a black eye. I know I do. You will never forget your father’s face when you showed up at the door around lunchtime and told him the “good” news. That kind of experience you don’t forget.
You know how it goes the day after. Weak legs, cold sweat, empty wallet. Green tea doesn’t help. You have to sweat it out, but that is not the only option. You eat your chicken soup and rewind yesterday’s movie in your head.The best place to be now would be some desert island like in the Cast Away movie.
The physical and mental wreck after a crazy party is not related to the party itself. If you stayed at home watching TV and consumed the same amount of of alcohol, cigarettes, and who knows what else, you would feel the same the next day (except you would not have lost your drivers license or gotten a free breakfast at a police station).
On a smaller scale, we do these things daily. Your favorite vice drains your energy and holds you back over the years. An exhausted person cannot work on her goals.In most cases, you’re not even aware of the chewed-up health or opportunities you’ve missed, until one day you wake up and ask, “What happened to my life?”
Everything that destroys your life and holds you back deserves to be thrown out. Don’t be sorry for that. You are not losing an old friend; you are getting rid of something bad. Your life will be much better after you get rid of the junk.The ball of garbage that you have been building and pushing for years has grown and picked up speed. When you try to stop it, it can easily happen that it runs over you several times before you succeed.
What you can do about it:
- Make a list of all the things that hold you back and start kicking them out (download the checklist here).
- Remove the triggers. Triggers are everything that starts a negative chain reaction. It could be a beer in the fridge, a hidden box of cigarettes, a phone call to your “partner in crime.”
- Start paying attention. Notice when you switch to automatic mode and stop it. Instead, go for a walk, exercise, or find a good hobby.
- Put the checkmarks in your list for every day you manage to avoid the bad stuff. You will feel great when you see how your bad habits start to loosen their grip over you.
- Be determined. Work on it until you succeed.
Don’t be disappointed in yourself if you stumble a few times. Just keep pushing. Bad rituals are most easily activated when something shakes you, such as a bad day at work, an argument at home, and other common life situations. These are ideal opportunities to take out a cigarette, stand at the bar, or overeat. When that happens, don’t give up. Continue on in the good direction tomorrow. One swallow does not make a spring. You didn’t get into a bad routine again, it was only one day worse than the others. Keep putting the checkmarks in the list. Over time, there will be more and more of them in line, without breaks.
In the end:
It is almost impossible to get rid of bad rituals from the first attempt. You already know that. The negative ecosystem you have created around you has its own gravity that does not give in easily. The combination of bad habits, the places you go, and people with the same bad rituals is like a gorilla sitting on your back when you try to get up. Be persistent and you will succeed. Remove the triggers and cut off the fuel supply to your bad habits. Soon you will realize that you have succeeded.
Don’t forget to get your free audiobook, as well as the accompanying checklists that will help you get going. Set your goals, fill in the checklists, and take the first step. If you need support or you just want to share your ideas with others, join the Long-Term Habits group. Everything is easier in a group of like-minded people.
Links:
- Free downloads: PDF and the audiobook Fulfilling Life: A matter of Personal Choice with all the accompanying checklists you need to get started
- Great Books for a Great Life – all the answers to your questions in one place
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only. It is not intended to serve as a substitute for the consultation, diagnosis, and/or medical treatment of a qualified doctor or healthcare provider, especially in the case of severe addictions. Don’t use this content as a replacement for treatment and advice given by your doctor or healthcare provider.
“In order to write about life, first you must live it.”– Ernest Hemingway