“I wish someone had told me that when you get to the top, there’s nothing there.” – Jack Higgins
Your daily happiness is not related to your major life goals
Two completely separate things, which we often put in the same basket, are our daily happiness and major life goals. If you set yourself the condition that you will be satisfied only when you manage to achieve your goals, you are doomed to lifelong frustration. How? For a simple reason – people never stop setting new goals for themselves.
Tennis star Boris Becker was at the very top of the tennis world—yet he was on the brink of suicide. He said, “I had won Wimbledon twice before, once as the youngest player. I was rich. I had all the material possessions I needed … It’s the old song of movie stars and pop stars who commit suicide. They have everything, and yet they are so unhappy. I had no inner peace. I was a puppet on a string.”
Becker is not the only one to feel that sense of emptiness. The echoes of a hollow life pervade our culture. One doesn’t have to read many contemporary biographies to find the same frustration and disappointment. Jack Higgins, the author of many successful novels among them and the one “The Eagle Landed,” was asked what he would have liked to have known as a boy. His answer: “That when you get to the top, there’s nothing there.”
Our Daily Bread, July 9, 1994.
Achieved goals depend on the effort invested, while daily satisfaction depends on the way we live, and the things we focus on. Whatever the goals, if you lead a messy life, and your focus is on negative things, you will hardly be satisfied. Goals can motivate you only if you have arranged the basic things in life well, and thus raised your own energy.
How to keep yourself motivated most of the time?
In order to feel great and be motivated to work on the things you need to do, and the ones you want to do, you need to focus on the things that are much more tangible and easier for you to achieve than the goals that are still far away. Not to repeat here what these things are, take a look at the blog post You become what you feed your mind – 12 things that will change your life.
The motivation you need to work on your larger goals depends on your daily satisfaction. Without high motivation, you will eventually fail in achieving small as well as large goals.
It is not possible to achieve major goals from the first attempt anyway, so there’s no point in becoming depressed every time you fail to accomplish something within the time frame you’ve planned. If you look at successful people, most of them have failed countless times. That only made them stronger. Problems are actually challenges that you grow through. If it weren’t for that, life would be boring, and you wouldn’t have a chance to grow. When you start looking at it from that side, your life will be easier. Just remember what Michael Jordan said:
“I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
True satisfaction vs. ego-driven motivation
On the other hand, if your motivation is related to your personal image, you will want to achieve your goals as soon as possible. Every time you fail, the frustration will be huge. The ego does not know about patience. He feeds on the approval of others and wants recognition right away. Forget about image; that is not reality. It is a false picture of you that you want others to believe, and it has nothing to do with your true desires.
Real satisfaction in life starts with yourself. The lifestyle and things you focus on determine how you will feel every day. Don’t let achieving big goals be a condition for your happiness. Keep yourself happy by keeping small things in balance on a daily basis, and along the way enjoy the personal growth that takes place as you work on your life goals. If you stick to this, you won’t sacrifice your quality of life just to get what you want. That is the only win-win situation.
Don’t forget to get your free audiobook, as well as the accompanying checklists that will help you get going. Set your goals, fill in the checklists, and take the first step. If you need support or just want to share your ideas with others, join the Long-Term Habits group. Everything is easier in a group of like-minded people.
Links:
- Free downloads: PDF and the audiobook Fulfilling Life: A matter of Personal Choice with all the accompanying checklists you need to get started
- Great Books for a Great Life – all the answers to your questions in one place
“In order to write about life, first you must live it.”– Ernest Hemingway